A fellow gardener named Matt posted a message on the Organic Gardening magazine message boards the other day, explaining that he cleaned the kitchen one morning while waiting for the dew to burn off, and hurt his arm somehow. laying him up for the rest of the day, so he was sulking. Here’s what I told him:
“You’re not sulking, you’re whining.
“The problem is you tried to clean the kitchen. Men can’t do that properly. I’ve tried before and know this to be true. Sorting out a tackle box, yes. Cleaning the tool shed, okay. The workbench, fine. You might even get daring and try to clean up the pickup truck, but it’s a harrowing experience to see a clean pickup truck so I don’t advise it. Best to trade it in.”
My advice in life is this: Never learn how to do something you don’t want to do.
Don’t be stupid, people. When asked to help put away the dishes, drop one. You’re home free after that. When I was a teenager my single Mom didn’t have time to iron shirts for five boys, so I learned ironing. And you don’t think that’s haunted me ever since?
Matt, stick with cutting down huge oak trees, loading yards of topsoil, digging out stumps with your bare hands. But kitchens? They’re killers.