Kitchens and men

A fellow gardener named Matt posted a message on the Organic Gardening magazine message boards the other day, explaining that he cleaned the kitchen one morning while waiting for the dew to burn off, and hurt his arm somehow. laying him up for the rest of the day, so he was sulking. Here’s what I told him:

“You’re not sulking, you’re whining.

“The problem is you tried to clean the kitchen. Men can’t do that properly. I’ve tried before and know this to be true. Sorting out a tackle box, yes. Cleaning the tool shed, okay. The workbench, fine. You might even get daring and try to clean up the pickup truck, but it’s a harrowing experience to see a clean pickup truck so I don’t advise it. Best to trade it in.”

My advice in life is this:  Never learn how to do something you don’t want to do.

Don’t be stupid, people. When asked to help put away the dishes, drop one. You’re home free after that. When I was a teenager my single Mom didn’t have time to iron shirts for five boys, so I learned ironing. And you don’t think that’s haunted me ever since?

Matt, stick with cutting down huge oak trees, loading yards of topsoil, digging out stumps with your bare hands. But kitchens? They’re killers.

About lifegrower

Peter V. Fossel has been gardening since he was nine, and has been an organic farmer for the last 20 years. His most recent book, “Organic Farming, Everything You Need to know” was published by Voyageur Press, Minneapolis, 2007. He’s written numerous gardening articles for Organic Gardening, Horticulture, Country Journal, Out Here, and American Profile among others. He was Gardens Manager for The Hermitage, home of President Andrew Jackson in Tennessee before returning to Cape Cod to start his newest organic venture, Swan River Farm in Dennisport, MA.
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5 Responses to Kitchens and men

  1. DeeperSoil says:

    Haha, Lifegrower/Pfossel, I found your blog from the Organic Gardening forum and this is the first of yours I have read. I laughed the whole way through! Thank you for the wise advice man-to-man. Favorite part was, ”When asked to help put away the dishes, drop one.’

  2. Wendy says:

    Love the spirit, and “run with the wolves’ enthusiasm…..but it’s ok to clean too! Less ticks that way 😉

  3. curiositycat says:

    But, whaddaya do when NO ONE in the house likes the kitchen? Go hungry? Or eat out in the garden, I guess, hee hee.

    I hate hate hate hate hate cooking. It’s my least favorite thing to do except maybe having my wisdom teeth pulled without drugs. All four of them at once. THAT I hated slightly more than cooking.

    And you guessed it, I’m miserable at it (cooking, not having my wisdom teeth pulled–I was actually quite good at that insofar as survival is concerned, which I managed). So Carey (the man in my life for the past 15 years) does all the cooking. I do clean up though. I’m much better at it than he, even though I don’t really love it either.

    And I’m really just here chatting you up because it’s been since May since you’ve posted anything and I need you to write something. Write. 😀

    • lifegrower says:

      Aren’t you sweet. Yeah, I’ll write again, but when the day’s done this time of year the best I can do is call friends and cook dinner. The muses aren’t with me the way they were last winter. Still, thanks for the reminder. I’ll catch up.


  4. Quite interesting 🙂 I came to your blog from the Organic Gardening forum to read your posts. I love to keep my kitchen very clean, as I love cooking experimenting new dishes every time. So most of the time i spend in my kitchen and another reason is I am growing some herb plants on my window sill and enjoy to see my plants growing.

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